Clever Hans

The mother of Hans said: «Whither away, Hans?» Hans answered: «ToGretel.» «Behave well, Hans.» «Oh, I’ll behave well. Goodbye, mother.’«Goodbye, Hans.» Hans comes to Gretel. «Good day, Gretel.» «Good day,Hans. What do you bring that is good?» «I bring nothing, I want to havesomething given me.» Gretel presents Hans with a needle, Hans says:«Goodbye, Gretel.» «Goodbye, Hans.»

Hans takes the needle, sticks it into a hay-cart, and follows thecart home. «Good evening, mother.» «Good evening, Hans. Where have youbeen?» «With Gretel.» «What did you take her?» «Took nothing; hadsomething given me.» «What did Gretel give you?» «Gave me a needle.’«Where is the needle, Hans?» «Stuck in the hay-cart.» «That was illdone, Hans. You should have stuck the needle in your sleeve.» «Nevermind, I’ll do better next time.»

«Whither away, Hans?» «To Gretel, mother.» «Behave well, Hans.» «Oh,I’ll behave well. Goodbye, mother.» «Goodbye, Hans.» Hans comes toGretel. «Good day, Gretel.» «Good day, Hans. What do you bring that isgood?» «I bring nothing. I want to have something given to me.» Gretelpresents Hans with a knife. «Goodbye, Gretel.» «Goodbye, Hans.» Hanstakes the knife, sticks it in his sleeve, and goes home. «Goodevening, mother.» «Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?» «WithGretel.» «What did you take her?» «Took her nothing, she gave mesomething.» «What did Gretel give you?» «Gave me a knife.» «Where isthe knife, Hans?» «Stuck in my sleeve.» «That’s ill done, Hans, youshould have put the knife in your pocket.» «Never mind, will dobetter next time.»

«Whither away, Hans?» «To Gretel, mother.» «Behave well, Hans.» «Oh,I’ll behave well. Goodbye, mother.» «Goodbye, Hans.» Hans comes toGretel. «Good day, Gretel.» «Good day, Hans. What good thing do youbring?» «I bring nothing, I want something given me.» Gretel presentsHans with a young goat. «Goodbye, Gretel.» «Goodbye, Hans.» Hans takesthe goat, ties its legs, and puts it in his pocket. When he gets homeit is suffocated. «Good evening, mother.» «Good evening, Hans. Wherehave you been?» «With Gretel.» «What did you take her?» «Took nothing,she gave me something.» «What did Gretel give you?» «She gave me agoat.» «Where is the goat, Hans?» «Put it in my pocket.» «That wasill done, Hans, you should have put a rope round the goat’s neck.’«Never mind, will do better next time.»

«Whither away, Hans?» «To Gretel, mother.» «Behave well, Hans.» «Oh,I’ll behave well. Goodbye, mother.» «Goodbye, Hans.» Hans comes toGretel. «Good day, Gretel.» «Good day, Hans. What good thing do youbring?» «I bring nothing, I want something given me.» Gretel presentsHans with a piece of bacon. «Goodbye, Gretel.» «Goodbye, Hans.»

Hans takes the bacon, ties it to a rope, and drags it away behind him.The dogs come and devour the bacon. When he gets home, he has the ropein his hand, and there is no longer anything hanging on to it. «Goodevening, mother.» «Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?» «WithGretel.» «What did you take her?» «I took her nothing, she gave mesomething.» «What did Gretel give you?» «Gave me a bit of bacon.’«Where is the bacon, Hans?» «I tied it to a rope, brought it home,dogs took it.» «That was ill done, Hans, you should have carried thebacon on your head.» «Never mind, will do better next time.»

«Whither away, Hans?» «To Gretel, mother.» «Behave well, Hans.’«I’ll behave well. Goodbye, mother.» «Goodbye, Hans.» Hans comes toGretel. «Good day, Gretel.» «Good day, Hans, What good thing do youbring?» «I bring nothing, but would have something given.» Gretelpresents Hans with a calf. «Goodbye, Gretel.» «Goodbye, Hans.»

Hans takes the calf, puts it on his head, and the calf kicks hisface. «Good evening, mother.» «Good evening, Hans. Where have youbeen?» «With Gretel.» «What did you take her?» «I took nothing, but hadsomething given me.» «What did Gretel give you?» «A calf.» «Wherehave you the calf, Hans?» «I set it on my head and it kicked myface.» «That was ill done, Hans, you should have led the calf, and putit in the stall.» «Never mind, will do better next time.»

«Whither away, Hans?» «To Gretel, mother.» «Behave well, Hans.’«I’ll behave well. Goodbye, mother.» «Goodbye, Hans.»

Hans comes to Gretel. «Good day, Gretel.» «Good day, Hans. What goodthing do you bring?» «I bring nothing, but would have something given.’Gretel says to Hans: «I will go with you.»

Hans takes Gretel, ties her to a rope, leads her to the rack, andbinds her fast. Then Hans goes to his mother. «Good evening,mother.» «Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?» «With Gretel.’«What did you take her?» «I took her nothing.» «What did Gretelgive you?» «She gave me nothing, she came with me.» «Where have youleft Gretel?» «I led her by the rope, tied her to the rack, andscattered some grass for her.» «That was ill done, Hans, you shouldhave cast friendly eyes on her.» «Never mind, will do better.»

Hans went into the stable, cut out all the calves» and sheep’s eyes,and threw them in Gretel’s face. Then Gretel became angry, tore herselfloose and ran away, and was no longer the bride of Hans.